It’s not my fault, my brain just hasn’t been able to process emotions the right way for such a long time. The way my father speaks to me when he gets upset is not ok, but I’ve made it ok for too long. I need to leave so that he learns and I need to leave on the 9th as I intended too and I can’t let his guilt trips get to me. I’ve given into him and my mom for too long and have only tried to think about what they want.
Mianhae mom and dad. I need to start being loyal to myself.
It was the night of my last high school show and we were all mostly in costume already and had some time before we opened the house and my advisor comes out with all these music books from different musicals and says “I’ll play. You guys sing!” and we all just sat around and sang together and there was so much enthusiasm and happiness in that room and I just kind of looked around and couldn’t help but think to myself…Damn. I love what I do.
This is where I belong.